"Come... I shall send you."

THE VENTURE
by Anthony de Mello


I imagine I am present
when Jesus first meet Peter
and pronounces him a Rock (John 1:40-42).

I am standing by the lakeside
when he inspires Peter, Andrew, James, and John
to come catch human beings (Matt. 4:18-22).

I walk into the tax house
to hear him summon Matthew
and I witness the effect (Matt. 9:9).

I am present
when the angels tells her destiny to Mary (Luke 1:26-38)

I see the risen Lord send Mary on a mission (John 20:11-18)

When the Voice calls out to Paul
on his journey to Damascus
I am traveling with him (Acts 9:3-6)


I see these scenes as taking place,
not in the past,
but now.
I do not merely watch,
I interact...
participate.


I write the story of my own call
for my copy of the Bible.
Like every scripture text,
each word, each phrase is charged with meaning.


I visit Peter in his cell before his execution.
He looks back on the day when Jesus called him,
on the things he saw, and learned,
and felt
-the kind of work, the kind of life he would have had
if Jesus had not met him
-the contrast in today's realities
and yesterday's illusions.


I look back too
on the day when Jesus called me,
just as Peter does.

Then Peter shares his feelings
at the thought that he must die tomorrow.


The call is still alive.
Each day it takes me to I know what
till after the event.
What was I called to yesterday?


The voice that spoke to Peter at the lakeside
and to Mary at the tomb
-I hear it say to me right now,
"Come . . . I shall send you."


I seem to hear those words
resounding in my heart repeatedly.

I know not what it calls me to,
but I recognize the voice
and give it my response.




taken from "Wellsprings"

Turning Point

My life changing experience took place during the ending mass of “Retret Awal” at Lembah Karmel, Tumpang, Malang – East Java on September 22, 2002. I finished the retreat feeling that there was nothing very special to be taken home during my stay there.

To my surprise, I heard the First Reading taken from Isaiah 55, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Somehow I heard it differently, that the Lord has a great plan (for me).

I didn’t realize that through my “never giving up” prayers, I pushed God to grant my will. With this incident, He taught me that indirectly I have rejected His love by insisted on my own will. By then I learned that I was too occupied with my own plans, so I failed to see that He has great plans for me.

God, forgive me that I have been very self-concerned by that time. Teach me to be more attentive to Your wills and concerns so that I can walk on Your way in Your love and peacefulness. Amen.

BSD, January 1, 2012

Yesaya 48:17

"Akulah Tuhan, Allahmu... yang menuntun engkau di jalan yang harus kau tempuh" (Yesaya 48:17)

Kadang karena punya banyak mau dan rencana, aku jagi ragu untuk lewat jalan yang mana. Melalui ayat ini aku diingatkan bahwa Tuhan sendiri yang akan menuntun aku di jalan yang harus kutempuh, sehingga aku tidak akan tersesat dan aku akan berjalan sesuai dengan rencana dan kehendakNya.



Terima kasih Tuhan karena Engkau telah menuntun aku di jalan yang harus kutempuh. Biarlah hikmat kebijaksanaan Roh KudusMu selalu membimbing aku untuk menempuh jalan yang telah Kau rencanakan bagiku. Amin



BSD, 9 Desember 2011

He leads me back

Some says that there are many ways to Rome… I was thinking about my trip to Singapore with my colleagues last month. One evening I decided to split away from them and go to Little India for sightseeing, because it was Deepavali's eve and I want to see the light up (Deepavali is popularly known as the "festival of lights" - link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diwali) and 'feel the atmosphere' there.

I never went to Little India before, therefore I borrow my friend’s city map so I won’t get lost during my solitary tour. As the night fall and I was heading to the MRT station, I was quite confused about the surrounding. I have walked to the right direction but then I decided to turn back, away from the MRT station. Finally after some minutes of studying the map and the surrounding landmarks, I found my way back to the MRT station.

Reflecting it into my life… there are some wrong turnings I’ve done in my life, but somehow God leads me back to Him. Through retreats, Bible study, private prayers… He guides me back to His open arms and find His path to be followed again.


Dear God, I thank You for not letting me get lost along my journey of life. Please always guide my way back to You. And if I should ever turn away from You, please don’t let me walk away from You. Lead me back to You in Your everlasting love and patience... Amen.



BSD, October 2011